hey dere peeps...it's me here again just wishing all salam lebaran...

anyway i have been sick the past few days...like i said in my last entry and yar i am still feeling unwell with the voice 'going away'...dah macam suara Ella si penyanyi tu.. really lost some weight because of the fasting and now that i am sick, it will continue to decrease...sebut pasal fasting, berakhir sudah bulan yang mulia Ramadhan dan sudah pun tiba syahdunya Syawal..

Ramadhan datang dan pergi tanpa si seseorang dihati...dan Syawal ini ku berasa sunyi dan sepi tanpanya...well anyway yar malam raya i was able to talk to dearie on the phone and yar we talked quite long actually and it was the moment of seeking of forgiveness..dearie started off first and all was well..dearie you are long forgiven and semua orang buat kesilapan hanya untuk mempelajari darinya untuk memperbaiki dirinya untuk seseorang...den it was my turn to seek forgiveness from my dearest hubby...i just dont know why and seriously i dont why when i started to say my word of forgiveness, tears roll down my cheeks and as i go on and on apologizing to my dearest hubby, i jusy broke down crying...macam tak dipercaya gitu zawani crying asking for forgiveness from my dearest one..probably there was just too many sins and wrongdoing that i did and that i really mean everyword that i say..that was why i cry...dah macam minta ampun dari suami yang sah..well i hope lepas lebaran ini, akan membuka minda kiter untuk memulakan hidup yang penuh dengan dugaan, rintangan dan kasih sayang...dear walupun ur in Brunei i know that you will ensure me that the kasih sayang in us will always be there...and i asure regarding what we talked about on raya will always be in my mind...i will not let fear get the best of me and conquer my heart...i will let all the love, the arguements, the pacify and all the positive points for me to have faith and be brave enough to take the step forward...just like you say....

to make me feel as though that my dearest one is in Singapore, dearie actually called me when i was out the whole day doing the raya visiting at certain interval of the days..that really actually touched my heart and not only that..knowing that i was still sick, he ensure that i didnt drink any sweet and fizzy drink...dear, jangan bimbang i minum warm water...i always bear in my what you tell me....*seriously i also dont know why i always listen to my dear but because i think its for my own good..and like you always say eh dear..i am comfortable with you...*

so yesterday after visiting the eldest aunt at tampines, me and family took paman su's van to head for my bibik's house..boy, werent there alot of people at rumah bibik..with the small kids running around eating and messing the whole house wiyh the kuihs and ME..hehe all i could do was stay sitted at the soft sofa and its all because i was having menses cramp..it was super irritating to have it on raya as it totally made me feel uncomfortable...setelah beberapa ketika disitu, the whole family decided to head to the great granny's house...nasib baik tak ramai orang..alah duduk kat saner pun tak lamer as we had to be going back to bibbik's house..pasal takut-takut nanti ada orang datang nak ziarah embah...so jadi lepas rumah buyut kembalilah kami di rumah bibik...

so to sum up the whole of raya day, it was fun but hanya Tuhan sahaje yang maha mengetahui aper perasaan sebenarnya..sampai rumah pun taklah lambat sangat...kul 0930 dah sampai rumah..reaching home, gi mandi den salin den berehat untuk menunggu hubby chek call and tak sampai beberapa minit...'ring,ring' bunyi handphone but sebenarnya bunyi ringtone Sean paul lah...so we talked and talked about alot of stuff sampai benda yang tak mahu dear mengetahui pon eventually had to be told to him...i just didnt want to keep anything from dear as i want him to be aware how i am really feeeling in this little island of Singapore....i just dont know why i have to tell him things that i dont wanna him to know..proabably its just that i respect him alot and i look forward to telling dear things in the near future..hmm..u get what i mean...'telling dear things in the NEAR FUTURE'...

so well we chatted for quite long actually...say about 45mins..but it was worth the chat..and anyway both of us was already feeling sleepy but aint it great because dear is not working today..but its ouhkays..dear really need the rest for all his works..


signing off this bloggie, i just wanna say a big thanchew to all my friends who have been consistently reading my updates...

having to be separated from you for just 2weeks, i fell the intensity of being lonely and that i feel that i have at times take you for granted and that is always trying to find fault with you but its only now i realise it was wrong of me to do it and i want you to know that i will treat you the ways a man should be treated... ;) ..just wanna you to know i think and misses you always..lovie you always... <3